he said there aint no rest for the wicked,
irony is an interesting force
it's basically the last thing keeping you from not being an asshole anymore, and also the strongest force that keeps you there
which i say to say that liking something ironically is the first step to liking it for real, for itself, and ataraxia can cascade from there
kill cringe. bury it dead, bury it deep, and dance on its grave with resplendent respect for being a stage you went through, a tool you used, that made you a better enough person that you could let it go. thank it. memorialize it.
but don't forgive yourself, you have nothing to forgive
just grow
///now bring that shit in///
the only person any of us truly have,
not in a solipsistic or a nihilistic sort of way
just in a simple math sense
the only des we can ever load into our cartes,
is the version of ourself that put us to bed
that made sure it could let us rest
so we could wake up today
sometimes,
you're all you got
old you is not your enemy
even if you hate them
even if you think you're right to
because you know that you wouldn't be here
if it hadn't been for them
and you turned out better than they did
because they're back there
and you're here now
with me
so i dont know if they did a good job
but youre here
so
try telling your shittiest uncle that, first
i guess
if we're handing out tickets
to be up against the wall
when all this dumb shit is over
/and maybe to get it to start/
is to remember to give ourselves grace
because we deserve it
and so do they
they deserve to try
and to fail in kind
and that's what it is
grace
to forgive,
to not forget,
but not in presupposition
not in consideration
not on insurance
of a future
full of expected results
because that is not forgiveness
that does start with gr
but it rhymes with sludge for a reason
what is it with you people
and "return on investment"
what are you trying to get more of?
authority?
power?
over what?
people?
why?
to get more?
more what?
people?
or power?
or both?
and for what?
where does this go?
how do we get off this treadmill?
why are you on this?
to find out the answer?
because if you've chosen one
then why are you still running
that seems fucking exhausting
and probably pointless
because you don't have to tell me your answer
because we all already know
this isn't a card trick
this isn't magic
do you just want people to like you?
we can like you just fine
if you knock it the fuck off
and we can like you a lot
if you start fucking helping
if you've got anything that can help
start doing it
we'll figure the rest out later